Category Archives: Music

Apr 18 2012

I may have lost my way now, haven’t forgotten my way home.

 

 

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head

 I tried my best to be guarded, I’m an open book instead

 I still see your reflection inside of my eyes

That are looking for a purpose, they’re still looking for life

I’m falling apart, I’m barely breathing with a broken heart that’s still beating

 In the pain, is there healing? In your name, I find meaning

So I’m holdin’ on, I’m barely holdin’ on to you

I’m hangin’ on another day just to see what you throw my way

And I’m hanging on to the words you say

You said that I will be okay

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone I may have lost my way now, haven’t forgotten my way home.

For today, I just want to leave everyone with a simple yet very important reminder- every step matters.

No matter how convinced you are that you’ll be stuck on the same bed, in the same house, in the same miserable place…you won’t be.

No matter how much you’ve been hurt, healing is possible.

No matter how long you’ve been waiting to be rescued, help will arrive.

Even if your miracle hasn’t come around yet, they still exist.

Apr 11 2012

Hide a bit of hope, somewhere safe and fireproof.

I know I would apologize, if I could see those eyes
‘Cause when you showed me yourself, you know, I became someone else
But I was caught in between all I wish for and all I need
Maybe you’re not even what it’s for
Any more than me
May God’s love be with you
Always…

I’ve recently become somewhat obsessed with this song. This past month has been nothing less than what you’d consider a rollercoaster ride, and I sometimes question whether I’m even in the right world to find the path my life was meant to take. People seem to come and go but the only thing that remains is who I am and who I’ve become. If there would be one thing I can guarantee and promise to myself, it would be that I will never change in order to fit in somewhere or build a relationship with someone else. Even three years from now, my view will be very different from the view I have now. Even if I’m seeing from a different perspective, it should be with the same set of eyes.

Sometimes it takes a good kick to fall back into place, and sometimes a simple reminder that you’re never alone does the trick. Every single day, I mentally list 2-3 things that prove how God remains here and I’m never out of His sight. They could be simpler things, such as a random text right when I need it or crossing paths with a butterfly that catches my eye. Every once in a while, though, remarkable things happen. They may be small in themselves, but the impact can be strong enough to overpower the negative if you choose to make it that way. If you really and truly want something to be changed, you have to hide a bit of hope somewhere safe and fireproof. You can only realize the purity and beauty of your heart if you shield and listen to its voice.

Apr 10 2012

I do not have the average bully situation, as it is with the people I consider friends.

My name is Evin Rogers, a 13 year old girl. From the outside my life seems perfect but there are many deeper issues. I have struggled with Bullying, Family troubles, Body image issues, and my doctors are considering that I have Bipolar disorder. My support system is my friends, and without them I wouldn’t be here today. But they’re also part of the problem. I do not admit it but I do have serious body image issues. I’m 5′ 7″ and 100 pounds, but I still consider myself fat and think I need to lose weight. If I lose 2 pounds I am considered underweight. Living in Florida, everyone wears bikinis and short shorts and the temperature reaches into the 100s, but I still wear baggy jeans and sweatshirts. I don’t even drink a full glass of water a day because I’m worried about water weight and have had health issues because of it. I do not have the average bully situation, as it is with the people I consider friends. I don’t blame them, I haven’t told them that I find some things really offensive or hurtful. I do not speak up even when they talk about my weight or when they complain about what seems like a life with no issues. I think it’s time I did though, and while working through my own issues, I want to help others. My family has gone through a lot; my Dad left a few years ago so it is now just My mom, My 3 brothers, and me. My mom works double a full time work week just to make ends meet and sometimes it still isn’t enough. One of my brothers is 18 but has done drugs and drank heavily since he was 15. Him and my other brother hit me, and bully me too. The only member of my family that supports me in my goals and dreams is my eldest brother Jamie. He lives in an hour away though and works 6 days a week and goes to school so I barely get to see or speak with him. What has kept me alive has been the people I meet through my volunteering and their stories, a little girl named Layla Grace who helped me discover a passion and future, my music and my friends distracting me from my troubles and even saving my life as I stare at a pill bottle. None of these people know what a major part of my life they have been but I would give anything for them in a second. Talking to others with similar issues has always helped me and now I want to help others, facing their issues head on.

Mar 30 2012

Special.

When I fourteen, I was pulled up on stage at a show in front of a huge crowd by someone who was a positive figure in my life at the time.

He stopped the song, took my hand, and said this to me,

“There’s something you need to know before I go, you’re special. And the world can be very hard on special things. They’ll pick on you, hit you, diagnose you and develop you. And there will be days where you wish everyone was like you, so that things would be easier. But that’s how they think, they spend everyday wishing everything was the same and it’s that wish that keeps them from being special.

So when they come at you with their knives out, you just smile and forgive them. Because ordinary people say hello and goodbye, but nothing that’s special can ever die.”

I hope it resonates with you on some level or at least makes you think. I never forgot it, and I mentally recite on those days where I feel like I’ll never fit in.

The most important thing to take from this, is that you don’t have to seek anyone else’s approval.

Be yourself. Love yourself.

x

 

Mar 28 2012

We’ve always believed that music has a way of bringing people together. Maybe strangers that are just singing the same song, or maybe a friend that starts singing a song exactly when you need it. That’s what happened to me one day, and she didn’t even realize it.

It was September 29, 2010. The second anniversary of my cousin’s suicide, but I had kept it to myself. We were standing in the school auditorium because it was raining too hard to have marching band practice outside. The whole room was quiet just as we finished one of our songs, and my best friend started singing “You Be the Anchor that Keeps My Feet on the Ground, I’ll be the Wings that Keep Your Heart in the Clouds” out of nowhere. I had never heard her listen to anything like that before, so I was amazed. I just looked at her and started bawling because that song had always reminded me of him. We stood there in the middle of the auditorium and she just let me cry for a little while. With that little line of that song, I was able to completely open up to her about what I was feeling at that very moment. Music has a way of doing that. You don’t even have to talk to convey thoughts or feelings. It’s really amazing.